Discipline

One of the things that bugs me the most about being a parent is that there’s no right way to do it. I mean, there’s not like an instruction book or anything. You get a new car, a new computer, or a new phone, there are instructions about how to care for it: upkeep, maintenance, […]

Write Time

I haven’t put my headphones in, not yet. It’s time for them, time to block out the world and sink into my own, the one I’m busy making up each night. The one I hope to share with the real world someday in the form of a novel. But I’m still listening, I’m not quite […]

Bath Time With Baby

Before I had a kid, I knew next to nothing about children; in fact, even after having a kid, I know next to nothing about children. When we were expecting, people would always say stuff like, “You have no idea what you’re in for,” and “One thing about kids, they’ll always surprise you.” And I […]

A Few Spare Minutes

The thing about having a kid is that you never really get to relax. When he’s not around, I spend most of my time thinking about him, missing him, and worrying about him. When he is around, I’m trying to keep him managed–diaper changes, feedings, naps, and just generally keeping him entertained. None of those […]

Just Thinking

In case you’re wondering, I have a kid, now. In case you’re wondering if that’s all I’m going to talk about from now on, the answer is, yes, probably. I spent the weekend wondering about things. About how people do it. Not the taking care of the child thing; that hasn’t been so bad. He […]

What A Day

I am sitting in a hospital room, waiting for my son to be born, and updating The Strangelands on my phone. Good old technology. I am surrounded by things that beep and hiss, and there’s a monitor in the corner that fills the room with the sound of my unborn child’s heartbeat. Chopped is playing […]

To Do

It’s another rainy Saturday morning, when I should be painting. Instead, I’m watching out the window as a bird hops in freshly-formed puddles, and pecks in my overgrown lawn. I need to mow–it’s one item on a long list of things that needs to be done. I’ve allowed myself one cup of coffee. One cup […]

The More Things Change

There’s a chime that sounds in my new neighborhood. I don’t know where it comes from…maybe the house across the street? Maybe a block away. I don’t know. It sounds slightly like the song from the Harry Potter movies. I think it’s supposed to chime every half hour–and I suppose it does, technically–but not at […]

Impending Parenthood and Pies

Awhile back, I wrote about how I’m going to be a dad. I’ve spent hours crafting stories about zombies, murder, and all kinds of other horrifying crap, and that still might be the most terrifying post I’ve ever written. That’s not to say I’m not excited about being a father–I am. It’s just that it’s […]

So This Is Happening

If you know me at all, in real life, or through the internet, there are two things you probably know about me. One is that I’m fat. The other is that I’ve never wanted kids. The fat thing I’ve wavered on a few times over the years–every once in awhile, I’ll manage to get myself […]